Grief Counselling in Calgary

Grief does not follow a script, and it rarely arrives when we have time available in our schedule. Grief can be related to the loss of a partner, a parent, a child, a friend. Grief could also arise from a loss of a relationship or a major life change. Regardless of the loss, the emotional impact of the loss can show up in surprising ways. Understanding grief and the uneven and unexpected ways it can show up, can suggest steps towards healing and recovery.

What Grief Actually Is

Grief is the natural emotional, physical, and psychological response to loss. It is most commonly associated with the death of someone close to you, but it can also follow other significant losses, including the end of a marriage or relationship, the loss of a job or career identity, a serious health diagnosis, infertility or pregnancy loss, or the loss of a way of life. Grief is not a problem to be fixed or a disorder to be cured. For the great majority of people, it is a normal, if painful, process that eases over time without needing formal treatment.

For some people, however, grief becomes more complicated. It can become entrenched, disabling, or persistently severe in a way that does not ease with time and begins to significantly interfere with daily functioning. This is when grief counselling, as distinct from the general support of friends, family, or community, tends to be most helpful.

Why the “Five Stages of Grief” Is Often Misunderstood

Many people have heard of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed this framework in 1969 based on her work with terminally ill patients facing their own deaths. Her work has been adapted for other situations to help explore the emotions associated with the experience of loss. Although the model seems linear and suggests one stage follows the other, there is no research providing reliable evidence that grief moves through these stages in a fixed order, or that everyone experiences all of them.

This matters in practice. Believing that grief is supposed to follow a tidy five-step sequence can leave people feeling that they are grieving incorrectly when their experience does not match the model. The distressing experience of grief then becomes unnecessarily more complex. Grief researchers now generally describe loss as something that is experienced in a much more individual, non-linear way, often involving waves of yearning, sadness, and gradual adjustment rather than a fixed progression through distinct stages.

When Grief Becomes Something More: Prolonged Grief Disorder

In March 2022, the American Psychiatric Association formally added prolonged grief disorder to the DSM-5-TR, the manual used to diagnose mental health conditions in North America. This gave clinicians a standardized way to distinguish typical grief from a more persistent and disabling grief reaction, so they could provide more targeted treatment.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, prolonged grief disorder is diagnosed when grief symptoms have lasted at least twelve months after the death of someone close (six months for children and adolescents), and when the person experiences intense yearning for the deceased or is preoccupied with thoughts of them almost daily, in addition to other symptoms such as identity disruption, marked disbelief about the death, avoidance of reminders of the loss, intense emotional pain, difficulty reengaging with life, emotional numbness, or feeling that life is meaningless. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that prolonged grief disorder affects roughly four to fifteen percent of bereaved adults, with risk higher after sudden, violent, or unexpected deaths.

If this describes your experience, it does not mean something is wrong with you, or that you grieved incorrectly. It means your grief reaction is one that research shows responds well to a specific, structured form of treatment, which is different from simply waiting for more time to pass.

What the Research Says About Grief Treatment

For most people experiencing normal grief, the most helpful supports are time, social connection, and self-compassion, not formal therapy. Where grief has become prolonged or complicated, however, there is meaningful research behind specific treatment approaches.

Complicated Grief Treatment (CGT), developed by psychiatrist Dr. M. Katherine Shear and colleagues at Columbia University, is one of the most extensively researched approaches for prolonged or complicated grief. In a randomized controlled trial published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, complicated grief treatment produced a 51 percent treatment response rate, compared with 28 percent for a standard psychotherapy comparison. Later trials by the same research group have continued to support its effectiveness.
Cognitive and behavioural approaches, which draws from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, are commonly used to help address the avoidance patterns and distorted beliefs that often accompany prolonged grief. These can include avoiding reminders of the person who died or believing one is somehow to blame for the death.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is increasingly used in grief work to help people make room for the pain of loss without needing to eliminate it, while gradually reconnecting with values and activities that matter, even while grief is still present.

It is important to be honest about the limits of treatment as well. Grief therapy is not designed to make grief disappear. The aim of science-based grief treatment is to help someone move from a state where grief is overwhelming and disabling toward a state where they can carry the loss while still living a meaningful life. Research on bereavement interventions also shows that not everyone benefits equally, and for grief that has not become prolonged or complicated, time and natural support systems are often genuinely sufficient without formal therapy.

Signs That Grief Counselling May Help

There is no single threshold that determines whether grief counselling is right for you. The following are common reasons people seek support:

It has been many months or longer since the loss, and the intensity of grief has not eased at all
Grief is significantly interfering with work, relationships, sleep, or basic daily functioning
You are avoiding reminders of the person or the loss to an extent that is limiting your life
You feel persistent disbelief about the loss, or a sense that part of yourself died along with the person
You are experiencing intense guilt, anger, or a sense that life has lost its meaning
The loss was sudden, violent, or traumatic in nature
You are grieving an ambiguous or disenfranchised loss that others may not recognize as significant, such as a miscarriage, an estranged relationship, or the loss of a pet, and feel isolated in that grief
You simply want support navigating a loss, without needing to meet any of the above

You do not need to meet criteria for a formal diagnosis to benefit from grief counselling. Many people seek support simply because they want a space to process loss with someone trained to sit with that experience, separate from the role friends and family are able to play.

How Grief Counselling Works at This Practice

Grief work at this practice begins with understanding your specific loss and how it is showing up for you. A personalized approach is important as grief connected to a sudden death, a long illness, a suicide, a pregnancy loss, or a non-death loss such as divorce can each carry a different emotional shape. From there, sessions may draw on:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to help build a different relationship with grief-related pain rather than fighting it or being controlled by it, while reconnecting with what still matters to you
Trauma-informed approaches, particularly where the loss was sudden, violent, or otherwise traumatic
EMDR, in cases where specific distressing memories connected to the death or the circumstances surrounding it continue to intrude or cause significant distress
Practical support for the secondary losses that often accompany grief, such as changes in identity, routine, or role within a family

There is no fixed number of sessions that applies to everyone. Some people benefit from a focused, time-limited course of support around a specific loss. Others, particularly where grief is prolonged or complicated, benefit from a longer course of structured treatment.

Learn More About Derek

What to Expect From Your First Steps

Free 15-minute inquiry call. A low-commitment conversation to share what you are going through and ask any questions before booking a first session.
Initial sessions. Understanding your loss, your history, and what kind of support would actually be useful for you right now.
Ongoing sessions. Paced according to what you need, which may be brief and focused or longer and more structured depending on your situation.

There is no right amount of time to wait before reaching out. Some people seek support in the early weeks after a loss; others reach out years later when something shifts or an anniversary brings unresolved feelings back to the surface. Both are valid times to ask for help.

In-Person and Online Grief Counselling in Calgary and Across Alberta

Derek offers grief counselling both in-person at his Calgary office and virtually for clients across Alberta. Virtual sessions can be particularly practical during a period of grief, when energy, motivation, and capacity to travel can all be reduced.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much does grief counselling cost in Calgary?

Fees vary by practice and by therapist. For current rates at this practice, please contact us directly; rates are not listed on this page to ensure you always have the most accurate, up-to-date information.

Does insurance cover grief counselling in Alberta?

Many extended health benefits plans in Alberta cover psychological services, including grief counselling, when delivered by a registered provider. Coverage details vary by insurer and plan, so it is worth confirming directly with your provider, and checking that a Registered Psychologist is eligible under your specific plan before booking.

How soon after a loss should I seek grief counselling?

There is no required waiting period, and there is no rule that you must wait a certain amount of time before seeking support. Some people reach out within days of a loss; others wait months or years. Either is appropriate, and grief counselling can be helpful at any point after a loss, not only in the immediate aftermath.

Is it normal to still be grieving after a year or more?

Yes, for many people it is. Grief does not follow a fixed timeline, and the idea that grief should be resolved within a specific timeframe is not well supported by research. That said, if grief after twelve months remains as intense as it was early on and is significantly interfering with your daily life, psychological treatment may help in a way that simply waiting longer has not.

Do I have to talk about the death in detail?

Not necessarily, and not before you are ready. Grief counselling is paced to what you can tolerate. Some approaches, such as ACT and EMDR, do not require detailed narration of the loss at all, while others may involve gently and gradually engaging with specific memories when and if that becomes useful for you.

Can grief counselling help with losses that are not a death?

Yes. Grief responses are common after divorce or relationship breakdown, job loss, infertility or pregnancy loss, estrangement from a family member, a serious health diagnosis, or any other significant life loss. The same general principles of grief counselling apply, adapted to your specific situation.

Can grief counselling be done online?

Yes. Derek offers virtual grief counselling sessions across Alberta in addition to in-person sessions in Calgary.

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